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wow. my life sucks.

well, at least this day sucks. NOBODY could take me to the fuckin show. & then i was pissed or more sad. awwwwwwwww. david said he's gonna call me. at 4.20 i called him because he still didn't call & then he said he's already on his way. well, pato's friend couldn't take me. mario didn't answer. tyler has to work until 9 & is not going. justin is not going today but tomorrow. alex was already at the show. so i guess there won't be any entertaining the treasurer. well, probably wouldn't have happened anyways. but hahahahaha. damn. now i'm hanging out with kyle & jordan & some other people. kyle is going to pick me up at 9, so pretty soon. there will probably be alcohol at the party. i don't like it & i don't wanna drink it. but if the party is boring, i will get even more frustrated & then maybe drink something although i know that's stupid. but well, whatever. fuck it.
my back hurts :/

you're already living in 2006. aww, damn the show & the aftershow party would have been soooo much fun. i hope jordan's party is going to be fun as well. it's just... hm the people. i was so excited for the pretty & special people that usually go to the shows. orlando & brett would have been there. sunshine. alex. pato. lots of people ): i'm sad & disappointed.

happy new year people. have fun. don't forget me & whatever.
1.1.06 03:47


2005 didn't end too good. wow. the most boring party ever. so kyle & i left right after 12 because i had to be home right after midnight. hehe (; we went to katy's & played mario cart & we were getting drunk. ): i'm sorry about that. i regreted it right after i started. we played every single race & the loser had to drink a shot. i lost almost every single game. haha ): i felt like shit. alcohol makes me hate myself.
& now i need to find a ride to the show. i reallllly wanna go. this show is much better than the last one. but well, i guess i won't go because i can't find a ride. wow, how can this suck so much? fuck dat shit.


mein silvester war scheisse. die party war langweilig. ich hab kein einzigstes feuerwerk gesehen. nach 12 sind kyle & ich zu katy & wir haben mario kart gespielt & der verlierer von jedem rennen musste einen schnaps trinken. ich hab fast immer verloren. ich hasse alkohol. & ich hasse mich, immer wenn ich es trinke. awww. & wahrscheinlich kann mich heute auch keiner fahren zur show ): ich hasse den ganzen scheiss...
1.1.06 21:47

Ha, I remember when you could wear your hair up and put on a lot of makeup and still be accepted. Your jeans could be skin tight and your belt didn't even have to be in your belt loops and you were still a good person. We made these music genres our life and we were open minded towards other music as well. Now things have changed. You got people that have thrown everything away that they listen to and now buy cds of one specific genre. They abuse lyrics and turn them into something negative to hurt others. Not too long ago they themselves wore two belts or wore a shit load of make up. Now they just contradict themselves because they are ashamed of what they used to be. They are now close minded pieces of shit. They claim they know everything about their lifestyle but most of those who claim they know, have never even fucking lived it. We owe much respect to those who know what they are talking about and know the true meaning of their scene. Not kids who have listened to the music for a few weeks or months and use lyrics to try to look intimidating when really it makes them look like a fool.

Stop taking these scenes and making them closed to the public. There are people out there that ARE open minded and are trying to listen to new music because they like it and it makes them more of a better person because they are easier to talk to about all kinds of music. They respect every genre of music. It is people like that who are TRUE.
words from a very inteligent individual by the name of pato cordoba
i thought i would post this because this is straight to the point of not being accepted these days im sure people can relate.
2.1.06 08:51


i'm getting tired.
i got drunk last night.
i was pissed yesterday.
i'm pissed today.
i feel lonely.
i'm a little nazi baby. haha.
justin made my day.
alex & david are fun.
i'm jealous.
i'm doing things i hate lately.
i miss people.
i'm too shy.
i don't like making decisions.
i get hurt by people i love.
i hurt people i love.
i need to apologize.
i'm really thankful even though i might not show it every time.
my fingers are like ice.
i should hate the internet.
i want to go back to school.
i need to be around people.
i eat too many cookies from my awesome grandma d.
i had hot fudge brownie ice cream.
it tasted pretty good.
everything in america is supersized.
my new year's sucked.
everybody is in love.
everybody has someone to hold in his/her arms.
i don't.
i exaggerate every once in a while.
i can't stand people that have to be right every fuckin time.
i need to be happy.
i need to laugh.
that's why i watch america's funniest home videos or dvds.
i'm wondering what real friends are.
i never thought i'm selfish.
i'm afraid i am.
i'm in love with my friends.
i'm addicted to some things.
i have a weird taste.
i'm in love with music.
i'm open-minded.
i can't stand bitchy people.
i didn't hang out with piti pato dum di palum di in forever.
i wish i had any talent.
maybe in arts.
or fashion.
talented in musice would be awesome.
i help people whenever possible.
i wish i would feel closer too some more people.
i wish some more people would feel closer too me.
i wish there hadn't been so many disappointments in my life.
how ever,i still think this will be one of the best years in my life.
i brush my teeth twice a day. still, i have a hole.
since i make own decisions, my hair has never been so long.
i'm scared of unusual voices or movements.
i'm not sure if to believe in bloody mary.
some girls are intimidated by me.
i don't like that.
when ever i lie, i feel like shit.
people think i'm cool. they copy my words. yea.
i'm just kidding about some things.
i hope you can tell when i'm kidding or serious.
my butt falls asleep every once in a while, for example now.
i will tell you things you're not interested in.
i wish i could say i don't care.
but i always do care.
about almost everything.
i don't know if that's good.
i probably couldn't live without being able to write.
even though i'm not good in it.
there are days i only eat 2 toasts in the morning.
1 toast or yoghurt in the afternoon.
& 2 toasts at night.
sometimes i exercise at 3 in the morning.
i eat too much.
but guess what. i don't care.
i probably gained weight.
anyway, i'm not fat.
i wouldn't bother you with telling you how fat i am.
just to hear i'm not.
cause i can't stand those people.
you don't need to ask people to tell you you're pretty.
they will do so if they think you are.
i give you a lot to read.
i need a laptop.
i'm getting goosebumps when you play with my hair.
or when you touch my neck.
or belly.
i rub my eyes all the time.
so i'm not good in wearing make up.
pato doesn't wear underwear.
i tend to tell people things they don't wanna know.
pato also farted on my leg once.
i miss hanging out with cool people like pato.
MATTHIAS SCHLEGER is cool. [i hope he reads that]
i wish for a welcome back party.
i needs to be a surprise though.
i'm afraid none of my friends will come to the airport or my house the first or second day i'm back.
i know i will look shitty after the flight but i don't care.
i just wanna see the people i love.
last night i saw something real.
which could have been in a typical american movie.
i love my ring.
although it lost all its diamonds.


next episode: americans....


good nite. i'm gonna have some cooookies. david's voice is funny. heeeelo.
2.1.06 09:47

yea, my hands burn.

yesterday after school i went with pato to band practice. i love somebody shouted bomb. they are my heroes. haha. & they are awesome. & funny. & they make me laugh so hard. gymnastics practice was alright. i almost ripped my hands. then i had water under the skin so i poked it with a needle & then the skin came up somehow. so i cut it with a siccors. it fricken burnt the whole night. & the whole day in school & then we had the meet tonight. i didn't know about until yesterday. i had to do vault & bars. the worst bars i've ever done in my whole life. 2.2. haha. that's so embarrasing that it is even funny. i fell twice. i landed on my butt when i did the dismount. i had my hands taped. the open things still hurt my hands while i was doing my routine. it was so slippery & i just had no grip at all so i fell. haha. it was funny. i laughed (: well, now i need to do homework. so good bye. good nite.
5.1.06 04:13

justin misses his little nazi baby. hehe. i just saw him this night after practice. ooo my god, during practice the wrestling meet started & there is this one guy. & he's super hot & cute. ooooo.

'ha, little german & argentine babys would be cool. they could have my skin color & your hair.' 'ha, i wish they would lock us in the lunch room. then we could be together alone for the weekend.' 'we should have a sleepover. i hate sleeping alone. don't you hate it too?'
haha, don't take that serious. but that's an essential part of pato's & my conversation at the moment. hehe. it started two days ago when i told him about chris & tyler. hahahaha. i would explain it further but actually i need to finish my homework & it's late. & i really need to go to bed early.

& yea, i really regret some things of the beginning of the year. being together with mario would be kinda really nice. i think. maybe. maybe not. i think everything that happens, happens for a reason. so that probably has a good reason too. once upon a time you will notice why certain things happened. at least that's what i think.

so yup, good nite.
6.1.06 05:51

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